And then she was a grown-up girl

You may have heard the crickets a-chirpin' round these parts lately.  I haven't felt comfortable writing about my life in any kind of detail.  Too much has been bouncing around me brain-pan.  Most of it too personal to share here.  

And, now that my sweet girl is 5 and a half, I don't feel comfortable writing about her, either.  She's a pretty big kid now, and I think she might not want me to be writing about her at this point in her life without the permission of her adult self (who, to my amazement, I see emerging in greater detail each + every day).  

So I am signing off here.  I may write somewhere else, because I think it might be helpful... for me, and maybe even for others.  But I think it's time to retire Cooler Than The Cat.  

It's been fun, exhausting, stressful, enlightening, freeing, maddening, embarrassing, and emboldening to occupy this space for the past 5.5 years.  Thanks so much for watching me start to grow up.  I really like who I'm becoming.


Love to all!

With gratitude, for all the good things

Stillness

From Tyler Knott's blog:

It’s in the stillness that we learn the most about this world.  There is more truth about the whys, the whats and the hows in 10 minutes of enough perfect stillness where you can actually see mosquitoes play than there is in 10 hours of asking those questions.

Halloween

A few of Halloween + the day before:  Pumpkin carving at Tammy's farm with her family + mine, working at the Morristown Farmer's Market in costume, and just a few from trick or treating as we followed Leah down the street... she was super-fast + had a blast!  Until she decided she'd had enough.  

Last night she got to pick out 5 (for her age) pieces of candy + put the rest in a bag under her bed for the Great Pumpkin to take -- in exchange for a little present.  Big. Hit.  

Blustery morning

Good thing I could find her a pink scarf, eh?

Rainy Monday at the bus stop

My heart hurts

Here it is, a Monday morning, and I am without my girl.  For the past 5+ years, this has been our day to reconnect after a weekend.  A day all to ourselves.  And now, she is probably arriving at school, where she will line up with her classmates, march into her classroom, and start her day with people I hardly know.

I love that she is growing + blooming.  Moving into her own space, at the right time.  But oh, it hurts not to have this time with her any longer!

Give Love

This morning at the bus stop

Kindergarten today... college tomorrow!

The girl is officially a kindergartner as of Tuesday this week!  She had a fabulous first day at school and at the small aftercare she attends with some of her besties.  Or at least I think she did, judging by the squeals of delight + bouncing off the sky she was doing when I saw her that evening.  She was so cool, so happy, so ready to be in her new classroom.  She didn't even turn around as I kissed her on the cheek + said goodbye.  That's my girl!

We dropped her off a tad late, so there are no photos of that morning, and she was too blurry to catch later on.  But that's okay.  It helps my heart a little to realize that really, it was a day much like any other... not a momentous mountain of an event.  She was ready + it happened.  And now "real" school begins...

However, here are some shots from our trip to MA a few weeks ago.  It feels so long ago now that the weather is crisper + new routines are in the works.  I am thankful for the time we had to catch up with everyone. 

And and AND!  My brother is now in China for 10 months, teaching conversational English at a university in Yuncheng!  Such an amazing endeavor... I am beyond proud of him + so excited to hear about his experience + how he grows. 

Happy almost-Fall!

Cousins

2 princesses + a toad

Farm dinner

No, Jack, the beer is not for you!

Fun with Uncle Dave

My sister + her beau

Learning words on my mom's deck

Gram love

How to find me

Someone found my blog today while searching for cat was in the cooler for 2 days.  

Huh. 

Well, I am always looking for new recipes...  ;)

How to be alone

This is pretty great.  And so easy to forget!  

Ahh, voice of reason!

I never thought I'd be embedding a video from Fox News, but here ya go!  An excellent interview with Ted Olsen (argued against Prop 8, alongside David Boies).  Clear + simple.

Friday at the farm

Last weekend in July

Last weekend I took off with T for a treatment-free beekeeping conference at the tip-top of central Mass.  The weather was gorgeous (perfect for the tent-dwelling we did at night), the bee people were lovely, and I got to cram my head full of fascinating bee-facts + ideas.

Although a bit disorienting to be in a place where I didn't feel I completely belonged, I felt the freedom in that.  Not supposed to be there, not being expected to do anything, really, other than what felt right.  And while I didn't always do that, I felt my way into it + started paying more attention to myself; recognizing myself in each of the other people there, and they in me. 

We stopped for a quick visit at my sister Em's house on the way back to NJ, so she + her fam could finally meet T.  Sitting in the back near her garden, we were treated to chocolate chip sand cookies made by my sweet niece + nephew.

Meanwhile, Leah + her dad spent a fun weekend on the tip-top of Long Island with his aunt + uncle, which included the beach, pool, a boat, ice cream, and a fabulous new hat (for Leah).

I'm at work now, in the middle of my last day here this week, but all I can think about is being outside in beautiful Massachusetts + filling my head with more learnin'!

Spied floating above the conference spot.  Amazing, no?

Hamptons girl

Canning salsa the day after we returned

 

First house guests!

Almost 2 weeks ago my mom + sister came for a weekend visit and proved that my apartment is not too small for visitors!  Here are a few photos from my sister Biff's camera... in my home and at my girlfriend's amazing farm.  I'm so glad they were able to see us in our natural habitat.   ;)

Eating beet greens!

On my front steps

Wearing a kohlrabi leaf hat at Tammy's farm

The start of the sunflower house at the farm

Decorating the farm's blackboard

Sleeping bean

I find that I just don't have words for the outside world that sum up where I am right now.  Most things are good.  Some are incredible.  A few are really hard + like to dominate at times.  But Leah is my constant reminder of why I need to push through the hard + create more of the good + incredible.  Oh, and get more sleep!

Home

As I contemplate the idea of home...

(by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros)

Let Go

Trying to...

My baby is FIVE!