Last band email

Subject: THE LAST SHOW EVER IN THE WORLD, EVER

EXCUSING THE HYPERBOLE, THAT IS

BUT FOLKS, SERIOUSLY--
NE'ER AGAIN WILL YOU HEAR
THE UNPRONOUNCEABLE
ALIVE AND IN CONCERT!

FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY:
THIS FRIDAY 9 MAY 2008 A.D.
FROM 10PM 'TIL 2AM

AT THE FUNOUSE
http://www.myspace.com/funhousepub
5 EAST FOURTH STREET
SOUTH BETHLEHEM, PENNSYLTUCKY
610.868.5311
$FEW$ / 21+

REMEMBER THAT ALL MERCHANDISE AVAILABLE WILL BE ON SALE FOR ONE FINAL NIGHT -- BUY EVERYTHING! ALL ITEMS ARE GUARANTEED TO BRING MORE ENJOYMENT THAN A WHOLE TRUNKFUL OF BEANIE BABIES.

THE UNPRONOUNCEABLE THANKS ALL OF ITS FANS AND SUPPORTERS FOR THEIR YEARS, MONTHS, OR MERE DAYS OF LOVE AND ATTENTION, AND ENCOURAGE YOU ALL TO ROLL OUT ON THE TOWN FOR ONE LAST HURRAH IN THE HOUSE THAN FUN BUILT, IN THE SMOKY DEN OF SIN AND GOODNESS THAT SERVED AS THE OLD TRUSTY MAINSTAY OF THIS MUSICAL ORGANIZATION FOR NEAR ALL OF THE BOYS' 10 OR SO YEARS TOGETHER. DON'T DARE MISS IT.

**WARNING:**
FAILURE TO ATTEND WILL RESULT IN AN IRREVERSIBLE INABILITY TO RE-LIVE THE EXPERIENCE OF OTHERS WHO MIGHT FINALLY ACTUALLY BOTHER TO DRAG THEMSELVES OUT FOR THE NIGHT, AT LEAST BECAUSE IT'S A FRIDAY.
RESULTS MAY ALSO INCLUDE AN IRREVOCABLE SENSE OF LOSS AND FAILURE, AND THE REALIZATION THAT OUR LIVES ARE TICKING BY US ONE SECOND AT A TIME, AND ONCE AN OPPORTUNITY IS PASSED, IT IS UNLIKELY THAT IT WILL EVER PRESENT ITSELF TO US EVER AGAIN, EVER.

WE WISH YOU WELL IN YOUR ENDEAVOURS.

AFFECTIONATELY TO THE LAST,
YOUR UNPRONOUNCEABLE.